When we finally saw our doctor we gave him our baby. The nurse asked what was in the container and after a little hesitation, I think to spare our feelings, the doctor said “Proof of conception.”
I thought it was an interesting statement. It was accurate I suppose but left me contemplating the meaning of those few words. “Proof of conception”.
Yes it was physical “proof of conception”, it contained my DNA as well as Larry’s. It was proof of how far development had occurred. It was proof that he/she could have fit into the palm of my hand. I saw the proof myself. I saw legs, arms and blue eyes that will never have the chance to grow and develop. I saw a tiny face that left me wondering if he/she would have looked like the girls or if they would have been more like me with freckles and pale skin. So yes I saw the physical proof of conception.
More then that though it was emotional “proof of conception”, it was “proof of love”. The love we have for that little baby, for each other within our family and for our Heavenly Father. It made me really realize what a miracle it is, what a gift a baby is. I saw our baby. The baby that we had been so excited to meet, to get to know, to love. It was the little person we had tried to think of the perfect name for, the person that we wanted to add to our family. And although he/she only had the chance to grow for a short time I am grateful to have had the opportunity and know that Heavenly Father has plans for me and for our family and I look forward to discovering what those plans are.
I thought it was an interesting statement. It was accurate I suppose but left me contemplating the meaning of those few words. “Proof of conception”.
Yes it was physical “proof of conception”, it contained my DNA as well as Larry’s. It was proof of how far development had occurred. It was proof that he/she could have fit into the palm of my hand. I saw the proof myself. I saw legs, arms and blue eyes that will never have the chance to grow and develop. I saw a tiny face that left me wondering if he/she would have looked like the girls or if they would have been more like me with freckles and pale skin. So yes I saw the physical proof of conception.
More then that though it was emotional “proof of conception”, it was “proof of love”. The love we have for that little baby, for each other within our family and for our Heavenly Father. It made me really realize what a miracle it is, what a gift a baby is. I saw our baby. The baby that we had been so excited to meet, to get to know, to love. It was the little person we had tried to think of the perfect name for, the person that we wanted to add to our family. And although he/she only had the chance to grow for a short time I am grateful to have had the opportunity and know that Heavenly Father has plans for me and for our family and I look forward to discovering what those plans are.
Well, thanks for making me cry today. :)
ReplyDeleteI for one am looking forward to meeting "Little Herman" someday and seeing just who he/she looks like. In the meantime, I hope you are doing ok, and I am so glad that you are already able, at least a little bit, to look forward to all the good things that will be in your future. Hang in there, just keep swimming, and all that stuff - and call me anytime!